The Daily Jerk

100% pure cunt block

by on Jun.24, 2010, under CABBAGE, FABULOUS PRIZES!, FUCKING RIOTS?!, HAHAHAHA YORE, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, MOTHERFUCKER, VIN FUCKING DIESEL

I don’t consider myself a writer, so I don’t think that it’s fair to call my current lack of inspiration “writers block”. I am, however, frequently a complete cunt. I am having trouble with being a cunt today, so what I have is obviously cunt block.

What a day to get it on, too. I could make all sorts of witty remarks about politics, but FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE is doing that already. So rather than contribute to the mass of noise that is EVERYONE CRAPPING ON about something which I will allude to only, but never name, I felt that today would be better spent discussing other things. Hopefully one of these things will so anger me, make me so incensed, so infuriated at the world, that I will actually end up saying something funny. Or at least I’ll end up writing all capitals in a large, red font.

Let’s be honest, you aren’t here to get witty political intrigue. You are here because, for some demented reason, you actually seem to like it when I start shouting in text. I figure that this blog is like a car-crash for some people. A car crash which goes on for months and never actually gets interesting.

It just proves that people love drama. This is why the news, TV, and other media is the way it is. Telling people about nice things doesn’t fucking cut it any more. PEOPLE WANT TO SEE BLOOD, AND GUTS, AND VEEEEIIINS IN MY TEETH. I often wondered why, in history, people went to see public executions for FUN. Going to WATCH PEOPLE DIE A HORRIBLE FUCKING DEATH, not because they did anything to you personally, but because YOU HAVE NOTHING FUCKING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR TIME.

That’s when I realised that you people haven’t fucking changed at all. You still slow down at fucking car crashes in the hope of seeing a SEVERED FUCKING LIMB. IT’S NOT EVEN PUNISHMENT ANY MORE. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME FUCKING SICK. MAYBE YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO BECOME A FUCKING ACCIDENT VICTIM YOURSELF BY SLOWING DOWN SO MUCH ON A MAJOR FUCKING HIGHWAY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO ACCIDENT YOU IN THE FUCKING CUNT WITH A LEAD PIPE? WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY? WOULD IT?

CAN YOUR POINTLESS FUCKING LIFE BE SATISFIED IN SUCH A SIMPLE FUCKING MANNER? PERHAPS I SHOULD RUB BROKEN GLASS IN YOUR FUCKING EYEBALL FOR THAT “SKIDDED UP THE BITUMEN” LOOK. IF YOU’RE REALLY LUCKY, I’LL EVEN BREAK YOUR FUCKING FINGERS SO YOU CAN NEVER PLAY THE PIANO AGAIN.

You are a total fucking cunt, you know that? I thought I was bad, but you fucking REVEL in other’s misery. I just don’t think people like you should be allowed to fucking live in this world. I think you should be executed. Make a real show of it, too. Music, popcorn, splatter goggles. Serves you fucking right, you cunt.

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1 comment for this entry:
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