The Daily Jerk

How to be a skeptic

by on Jun.17, 2010, under Hello, My skepticisim isn't the slightest bit dogmatic - how dare you, Skeptic logic is infallible

I like to think of myself as a skeptic. It’s fun, it’s easy, and you get to feel morally superior to “believers”. There is one simple rule to being a skeptic: “If you haven’t seen it yourself, it doesn’t exist“.

There’s no need to pick you r battles here. If you haven’t seen it yourself, then one simply can’t prove it to be true. No amount of evidence is sufficient to sway you r opinion unless you want it to be swayed, because you can simply use you r powers of skepticism to refute the evidence.

This has especially been helped by the brand new “information age” that we are living in. Now with easy access to video and image editing software, we can say with safety that almost any evidence could be CGI, or Photoshopped. What a boon to the art of skepticism this has been, we will never know, because frankly I haven’t seen those statistics; they’re probably faked, anyway.

So how can we skeptics, atheists, and free thinkers show how much it means to us to be able to use logic to go with a gut feeling? Why of course we get together in groups, and deliberately attempt to goad “believers” into arguments, which we can quickly shut down by claiming a lack of evidence. They may try to tell you that they have faith, that their own gut instinct is that they are correct, but you can easily refute this by informing them that they are simply being dogmatic and refusing to listen to other opinions.

Perhaps you can quote Richard Dawkins at them, and then tell them that they are obviously deluded for following what they read in a book. The possibilities are really endless here, as they have no acceptable way to prove their claims. You can easily tear down everything they believe in, then berate them for being close minded.

Always try to remember that proof is only as good as the person who gathered it, and as no-one else can be trusted to properly gather evidence for you, you simply get to decide that which you do (and don’t) believe in. Smart skeptics can actually believe in unprovable things, merely by refuting everyone’s evidence to the contrary as unreliable. It is common for skeptics to happily denounce such childish ideas as religion, psychics, crop circles, and ghosts; only to tout their belief in aliens, extra sensory powers, invisible pink unicorns, and flying spaghetti monsters.

This is entirely allowable, even encouraged, in modern skepticism. If you have no beliefs, you are a nihilist, and everyone knows that they are crazy. Beliefs that cannot be proven are all plausible to you, as you live in an infinite universe, where it’s possible that such a thing may exist. At this point it should be remembered that you r personal belief is entirely unquestionable, as you are a skeptic; you have obviously thought this over, and come to you r answer with reason.

I love being a skeptic, and you should to; everyone who doesn’t believe the same as me must be taught the correct way to think. Believe as I do, and free yourself from dogma forever.

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6 comments for this entry:
  1. Homophone

    I cannot believe this article. It is photoshopped. I can see the pixels. BITCH

  2. Huge Jerk

    Ack! discovered! MARTHA STEWART!

  3. bronks52

    Look! Flying FLUFFY BUNNIES Koalas!!!

  4. PretentiousNerd

    THe Bible is the ABSOLUTE WORD OF JESUS. It says so right he BUGGERre on page 24.

  5. Huge Jerk

    I’m thinking about creating the “Newest Testament”, which BASTARD goes about “fixing” misconceptions from the previous FLUFFY BUNNIES testaments.

    ’22 The lord said – “Sorry about the pig thing. Eat more bacon
    23 “Also, I hate fags.”‘

    Probably a Westboro Baptist production, MARTHA STEWART methinks. FLUFFY BUNNIES

  6. better skin

    Hi, thanks for sharing.

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