The Daily Jerk

Archive for July 2nd, 2010

Stop thinking. It’ll only make things harder.

by on Jul.02, 2010, under CUNTS, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, HAHAHAHA YORE, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, SHUT UP, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE, TRUTH

All of today’s problems can be simplified down to one root cause. You. In particular, your incessant insistence that you can actually make a difference. You will find that all the problems that concern you would simply go away, if you could simply SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

Have you ever had a dickhead mate who constantly whined about how bad their life was? Did you ever notice how all those problems never showed up in your life any more once you BEAT HIS FUCKING TEETH IN WITH A LEAD PIPE? This is what’s holding back governments and businesses from getting things done. Whiny little CUNTS LIKE YOU. They can’t even BREAK THE JAWS OF EVERY PERSON WHO DOESN’T SUPPORT THEM WITHOUT LITTLE FUCKING SHIT-SMEARED CUNT RAGS LIKE YOURSELF GETTING ALL UPPITY AND “OH THAT’S BRUTALISM!”

Well on behalf of anyone who’s either been voted or back-stabbed their way into power:

FUCK YOU.

YOU ARE WHY THERE’S OUTRAGE ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE, OR MINING TAXES, OR RADIATION LEVELS IN MILK. YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM. QUIT YOUR BITCHING, AND LET US DO OUR FUCKING JOBS. IF YOU HAD ANY SAY, YOU WOULD BE ONE OF US. AS YOU AREN’T ONE OF US, I THINK IT’S SAFE TO SAY THAT NO-ONE GIVES TWO FUCKS AND A FART IN HELL WHAT YOU FUCKING THINK, YOU SNIVELY LITTLE BALL OF PRIMORDIAL SLIME, PRETENDING AT PLAYING POLITICS.

JUST ONCE, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HOW YOU WOULD GO MAKING THE BIG FUCKING DECISIONS. OH WHAT A WORLD THAT WOULD BE. EVERYONE WOULD WOULD BE SO FUCKING HAPPY, WITH YOUR SHIT-SMEARED GRINS, AND YOUR CUNT-FACED OPINIONS. WELL TOO FUCKING BAD. YOU DON’T GET A FUCKING SAY, BECAUSE ALL YOU WOULD DO IS FUCK IT UP FOR US.

So now that we have that out of the way, let us discuss how our interests are your interests, not that we even need to justify this, but maybe it will help you to accept it AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE HOLE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS. We are the people who you VOTED for, or who OWN YOUR JOB, or that STABBED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WHO TRIED TO OPPOSE US. In short, IF YOU FUCK WITH US, YOU WON’T HAVE A LIFE LEFT TO LIVE. WE WILL STUFF YOUR HEAD THROUGH YOUR ANUS SIDEWAYS, COVER YOU IN SALT, AND THROW YOU INTO A FUCKING BLOOM OF OIL. ANY PARTS WHICH STILL SHOW SIGNS OF LIFE WILL BE FED TO EXPLODING FUCKING SHARKS. YOU WILL BE MAULED, DIGESTED, THEN BLOWN TO FUCKING PIECES. ALL WHILE YOUR FAMILY WATCH. IT WILL BE THE GREATEST NEW REALITY TV SHOW, AND YOU KNOW THAT THOSE USELESS CUNTS YOU LIVE WITH WILL JUST LAP IT UP.

YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT DOWN THE THROATS OF BABIES, YOU ARE SO STUPID. I WANT TO JUST HORK IT ALL UP, SPIT IT DOWN THEIR THROATS, AND CHOKE THEM TO DEATH SO THAT THEY’LL NEVER GROW UP TO BE MORE OF YOU.

So the next time you feel the need to moan or complain, just think about what you are really doing. You’re not making a difference, you’re just making the people who’s opinions DO count wish you were dead. The fact that you are still alive is nothing other than proof that they really do care.

They care that you are still able to vote them back in the same place next election.

They care that you can keep spending your money on the crap they’re selling.

They care that you can keep working long hours to make the crap that you have to save for weeks to afford to buy.

They care.

So shut the fuck up already.

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BIG TOPIC SERIES: RACISM

by on Jul.02, 2010, under CUNTS, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, Hello, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, how are you today?, SHUT UP, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE

It’s another instalment of Daily Jerk’s BIG TOPIC series, this time we’re going to talk about racism.

You know all about racism I’m sure. It’s there in the back of your head. You look at someone who is different than you, and smirk to yourself about how clearly you are superior. Or maybe you don’t, who am I to assume? (wait, who am I kidding. I’m a daily jerk, and of course you do. Good to see our roles are clear here, let’s continue)

Racism. It’s time you revelled in it. Practice it even. You can be a better racist than you are now with some work.

Just think how wonderful it would be if everyone different to you was eliminated. Some narrow minded people might call this genocide, or ethnic cleansing. But you know better than that. It’s just getting rid of the maggoty filth of this world. Am I right?

Get rid of them if their skin is a different colour.
Then get rid of them if their eyes have a different shape.
Then get rid of them if they have noticeably different hair.
Then get rid of them if their nose is a different shape.
Then get rid of them if their eyes are a different colour.
Then get rid of them if they’re shorter than you.
Then get rid of them if they have freckles.
…keep going till there is none left but you.

Oh my, isn’t that a blissful world?

So now it’s time to practice getting your hate on. Remember, everyone is different to you, and so everyone is inferior to you, right?

With that in mind, your exercise for the day is this – next time you’re out in the street, and you see someone who looks like you – find the things that are different, and turn that into a racial slur. Bonus points if it’s new and original.

That’s right boys, girls and MAGGOTS. I want you to go out and start practising racial epitaphs against your own “race”. It’s a game wogs, gringos, palefaces, spics, niggers, crackers, slants, towelheads, whiteys, nazis, honkeys, commie pinko liberals, rednecks, and more can enjoy.  Even a felch monkey like yourself can get in on the act with this, that’s how easy it is.

But you know what? The whole thing is fucked actually. You’re all actually just sacks of carbon and water acting like intelligent hominids anyway, so it’s not like I really expect that you’d know any better. In fact, I’d tear you a new arsehole except you’re spewing shit from both ends already and I’d really rather that you kept it inside if at all possible.

But I bet you can’t even do that right, since you’re just a mindless blood pumping, skeletal supported, dermally covered POOR EXCUSE FOR A FAILED ABORTION!

OK. Fuck it. We’re done here.  You’re not worth it any more. Get off my lawn. Game’s over.

(Fuckin’ biped)

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Guest Post: Dear cast, crew, characters and anyone else involved with Twilight

by on Jul.02, 2010, under Guest Posts, Sparkly fuckstains, Twilight

I don’t care. I don’t care that you have made three movie and millions of screaming prepubescent girls scream and cry when every your names are whispered

I don’t care. Never have. Never will. I would rather grate my tongue or poke my eyeballs out with a pencil or eat earwax than sit through the idiotic tripe that you are peddling

I realise it’s about a young girl’s awakening but unless that young girl awakens and shoots the shit out of a lot of aliens/ giant robots/ Zombies or wombats then I don’t give a shit.

I don’t mind Vampires. Its true. They can be fun. But I like mine more traditional. LIKE TRYING TO KEEP TO THE FUCKING VAMPIRES MYTHS RULES

And stars of Twilight. You annoy me you talent less, ungrateful bunch of shits.

Always complaining with your

woooo we walk too hard

woooo everyone tells us what to do on each movie

woooo we are all too busy

woooo the paparazzi follows up when we go to parties

woooo everyone tries to friend us on facebook

Get over yourselves you whingeing, whining bunchy of complaining gen y shits. Enjoy the few extra minutes added to your 15 minutes cause when the movies run out its a life of conventions for you.

And remember

THE MILLIONS YOU MAKE WOULD FEED MANY, MANY FAR HAPPIER AND HUMBLE PEOPLE. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

Cheers

Captain Angry Ranty Pants

PS Kristen Stewart go eat a sandwich and cheer the fuck up you miserable bitch.

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