The Daily Jerk

Archive for July 15th, 2010

You dang-nab pirates be stealin’ all me flickies! You kids ain’t got no respect!

by on Jul.15, 2010, under CABBAGE, Hello, Ol' Grand-pappy, Pirates

Whelll-ee boy-o! I dun gone figured you out! You kids been stealin’ all me flickies on them thar internets, and I won’t stand for it no more, I won’t! Ol’ Grand-pappy Copyright Law here, and I says you gots to stop pilferin’ me flickies and me audio-maticals or all me friends dun gone be broke and all des-tee-tuted.

I don’t know where you pirates came from, but I don’t like you, not one bit. I don’t hold with this internetty thingy, and I don’t think you kids got no respect no more for what I thinks. Well, dang-nab-it! I’m gunna have me mah say, and you darn kids ain’t gunna do nothin’ about it! You are gunna set your buts down, and listen to what I has ta say, allright?

Allright. Wells I been around fer a long time, an I gone done good by the people who done make stuff. I may be old, but I thinks I’m still sharp. Ya see, th’ problem ain’tn’t that I’m out of touch, but that you done gone be usin’ things what I don’t know how to use, and I think you oughtta stop it. All you kids on your internets and your mobile tele-whatsits and your gosh darn portable music boxes. Well mah friends down at the music and the flickies in-dust-rees done told me that they is all about broke cause you darn kids been not listenin to mah advice.

I asked them about tha billions o’ dollars they still be gettin’ but they tells me that they really is quite broke. Well as I see it, it’s ’bout time I stepped in and made sure you kids done been playin by tha rules here. Why if you be gettin’ things without all the ad-vertis-ments, and bein’ able to watch them wherever you want, then how ever’s all mah friends that owns all the music and tha flickies meant to make them billions? You see, they’s got to control hows you see their stuff so they can gets all the moneys that they can for it. If you kids are gunna keep going ’bout takin’ things and usin’ them how you want just cause you paid for them, y’all will miss all the extra bits which is how all the com-pan-ee friends o’ mine is meant to get more money from y’all.

That ain’tn’t fair now is it? I means, when you sells your truck, you don’t want no stinkin’ varmint which buys is to go all abouts usin’ it to get to church, as well as workin’ on his thar ranch. He’s gots to get hisself a church car for church. And what if he dun gone removed your pic-i-chure from the sun visers just cause he don’t have no more need to remember who he gots his truck from? Well I says he should have to look at your pic-i-chure and any other which what you says he should look at, especially other trucks you’s got for sale.

Weelll, boy-o, that’s what you bin’ done doin’ to mah in-dust-ree friends, over thar. I says it ain’t fair cause they solds it to you, so you gots to use it as they solds it.

You kids better learn you some respect real quick-smart, or I’m gunna whump ya. Now GIT!

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