The Daily Jerk

Guest Post: Shopping Centre Car Parks

by on Jul.27, 2010, under FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, Guest Posts, MOTHERFUCKER

Dear People who drive against the arrows in shopping centre car parks.

I do appreciate that the arrows are fairly pointless and at the best arbitrary, does anyone really think that some shopping centre manager has worked out the flow of the traffic? of course not. Lets face it they are all failed real estate agents or former managers of fast food places and as such unquestionably dim.

What shits me is the range of reactions you get when you turn with the arrow and some pedant is coming the other direction straight at you.

You get

a) the embarrassed oops i didn’t mean to do this oh look at silly little me reaction which is accompanied by a stupid arse smile, an insulting shrug of the shoulders and occasionally a mouthed sorry.

b) the complete blind i can’t see you reaction as if the person is trying to act like nothing much has happened. Often practiced by the old who also use the I have had a long and worthwhile life and so be allowed to do whatever selfish action I like pose

c) the glare of how dare you go with the arrows and get in my way. This is usually done by the people driving the ironically named four wheel drive (and usually have prams which are way too big.)

I won’t mention the people who give you a cheery wave as they cruise past, they will find their place in hell with out my assistance.

It is these people, non conformists to shopping carpark etiquette, who are throwing our society into anarchy and all should either be rammed by your car or at the very least leave your trolley right behind their car when you have finished unloading it.

That will serve the fucktards right

Captain Angry Ranty Pants

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