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BIG TOPIC SERIES: RACISM

by on Jul.02, 2010, under CUNTS, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, Hello, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, how are you today?, SHUT UP, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE

It’s another instalment of Daily Jerk’s BIG TOPIC series, this time we’re going to talk about racism.

You know all about racism I’m sure. It’s there in the back of your head. You look at someone who is different than you, and smirk to yourself about how clearly you are superior. Or maybe you don’t, who am I to assume? (wait, who am I kidding. I’m a daily jerk, and of course you do. Good to see our roles are clear here, let’s continue)

Racism. It’s time you revelled in it. Practice it even. You can be a better racist than you are now with some work.

Just think how wonderful it would be if everyone different to you was eliminated. Some narrow minded people might call this genocide, or ethnic cleansing. But you know better than that. It’s just getting rid of the maggoty filth of this world. Am I right?

Get rid of them if their skin is a different colour.
Then get rid of them if their eyes have a different shape.
Then get rid of them if they have noticeably different hair.
Then get rid of them if their nose is a different shape.
Then get rid of them if their eyes are a different colour.
Then get rid of them if they’re shorter than you.
Then get rid of them if they have freckles.
…keep going till there is none left but you.

Oh my, isn’t that a blissful world?

So now it’s time to practice getting your hate on. Remember, everyone is different to you, and so everyone is inferior to you, right?

With that in mind, your exercise for the day is this – next time you’re out in the street, and you see someone who looks like you – find the things that are different, and turn that into a racial slur. Bonus points if it’s new and original.

That’s right boys, girls and MAGGOTS. I want you to go out and start practising racial epitaphs against your own “race”. It’s a game wogs, gringos, palefaces, spics, niggers, crackers, slants, towelheads, whiteys, nazis, honkeys, commie pinko liberals, rednecks, and more can enjoy.  Even a felch monkey like yourself can get in on the act with this, that’s how easy it is.

But you know what? The whole thing is fucked actually. You’re all actually just sacks of carbon and water acting like intelligent hominids anyway, so it’s not like I really expect that you’d know any better. In fact, I’d tear you a new arsehole except you’re spewing shit from both ends already and I’d really rather that you kept it inside if at all possible.

But I bet you can’t even do that right, since you’re just a mindless blood pumping, skeletal supported, dermally covered POOR EXCUSE FOR A FAILED ABORTION!

OK. Fuck it. We’re done here.  You’re not worth it any more. Get off my lawn. Game’s over.

(Fuckin’ biped)

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by on Jun.24, 2010, under CUNTS, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, MOTHERFUCKER, SHUT UP, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE

Guess who? Yes, me again. If you’ve not read my stuff before (why not you CRETIN?), then grant me a moment to introduce myself. I’m just like everyone else here – a jerk. Except different. And by different I mean better. Why? Because I’m right, obviously. Do I have to explain everything? (*sigh* yes, clearly I do. Let’s get on with it)

Today I’d like to talk to you about flags. Big flags, little flags, the flags that explorers waved from the tops of mountains to tell everyone else trying to get there that they should just bugger off and go home because they clearly LOST, and the flags that the Romans invented because they were an EMPIRE dammit And the flags that you see on cars.

For years the only cars with flags were diplomatic vehicles, but lately there has been a disturbing trend. Cheap flags.

So I have to ask. HOW IS FLYING A TACKY PLASTIC NATIONAL FLAG THAT WAS CHEAPLY MADE IN CHINA AND GIVEN AWAY IN A WEEKLY FASHION MAGAZINE,  IN ANY WAY PATRIOTIC?

No you MAGGOTS, you don’t represent the country – you’re not in any way a representative of anything except of the United Unthinking Community of Moronia. You have no special standing and the only people running along side your car are your kids after you closed the door on the jackets they were still wearing and drove off to your SO FUCKING IMPORTANT appointment with your private nail-care specialist. All you are is a TWERP who has a plastic flag sticking out of the window thinking it’s the height of suave. In fact it’s such a useless thing that I bet I’d not even be able to STAB you with it if you came in range of me. Not that I’d want to of course, too great a risk of contracting some form of TWERPES from you. I shudder. I really do.

But in all fairness, I’d tolerate these things on Australia Day, but any other day of the year? nah. PISSOFF!

Now here’s a first – I correct myself. I don’t really tolerate them on Australia Day at all. In fact, their proliferation at that time just makes it more obvious to me just how dumb an idea they are in the first place.

But in actual fairness (since when has this blog ever been about fairness? Well, don’t try and tell me that I have to be one-eyed about this or I’ll take my ONE EYED MEMBER AND FUCK YOUR OESOPHAGUS AFTER I REMOVE THE MORE USELESS PARTS OF YOUR SKULL, WHICH ROUGHLY SPEAKING IS (but is not limited to) YOUR BRAIN! But I digress) part of this dislike is due to a simple dislike of the Australian flag as it currently exists. This is not to say that a better flag design would nullify this rant. I just might be a little less vocal about it.

A new flag design huh? Now that’s a REAL ISSUE SONNY, and we’ll have none of that crazy talk around these parts.

There are also sporting team flags seen on cars on occasions (and not just on sportsball day!), and the people who fly those are even more special than those I’ve previously noted. So special in fact that there is a special word reserved for these very very special people. That word is …CUNTS!. I don’t feel the need to elaborate any more. The place is full of them.

Now get off my lawn.

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