The Daily Jerk

evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists

Voting with your heart

by on Jul.19, 2010, under Celebrity gossip, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, FUCKING RIOTS?!, Heroes, Pirates, The one who calls wolf quite often, TRUTH

Over the weekend, most people here in Australia would have been made aware of an impending election. This shouldn’t really come as a surprise  to them though, as it is something that happens every 3 years or so. In a previous post, I covered the major political parties, and why you shouldn’t vote for any of them. Seeing as adding your own candidate, or marking a “None of the above” choice isn’t allowed in this country, I felt that it was time to explore which candidates you SHOULD consider voting for in this crap-shoot of awful politicians. There are only three major players worth noting. I’m not telling you which one to vote for, because I think that they’re all a useless bunch of cunts, but hopefully I can help one of them to capture your heart.

Julia GillardJulia Gillard - Taking heart theft seriously

If you believe the hype, Julia Gillard is the candidate who is meant to steal your heart. I, of course, plan to take this literally. and am rather scared of her. She is currently leading the country after killing deposing Kevin Rudd. She is female, which means that feminists everywhere make a huge deal about her. For some reason being the first female prime minister is a bigger deal than being the elected prime minister, but if she’s successful in the next few months, then I guess she’ll be both. This attitude is also kind of degrading to all of the other women in politics because it’s just telling them that being a woman in power is more important than being a good politician or doing a good job. The logic here has always escaped me, but that is probably a rant for another time.

The other inescapable thing about Julia Gillard is how much her nose looks like a shark. I’m not saying this to be mean, not that she would ever read this blog; it’s just a casual observance, like how everyone ever realises that Sarah Jessica Parker looks a whole heap like a horse, and has never actually been hot. If anything, looking like a shark could work to her advantage, as people are afraid and respectful of sharks. In terms of political action, she’s doing her absolute best to reverse all the policies that made Kevin Rudd unpopular, in the hope that it will make people like her. The fear angle would probably work better. Anyway, you should vote for her if:

  • The idea of an elected female is more important to you than a good leader.
  • You vote labor every time anyway because that’s what your parents did.
  • You are scared of sharks, and think that keeping them happy is the best way of keeping them away.
  • You are an executive of a mining company.
  • You really enjoyed the movie Jaws.

Tony Abbot

Tony Abbot is leading the opposition. Leader is perhaps a bit of a strong term, as it implies that he has a plan, solid opinions, and anyone would actually want to follow him. This isn’t to say that he’s without principals. He has plenty of principals, but none of them are particularly useful for running a country, at least not one in the 21st century. He loves to tell everyone about how he is manly, and how he knows best for women, children, and pretty much everyone. In terms of self righteousness, he can mix it with the best of them, which is pretty standard in most politicians. The difference with Abbot is that while most politicians at least pretend to craft their opinions to match popular opinion, he just spouts whatever idea pops into his head, no matter if it is popular or not. He mixes the smugness of Kevin Rudd with the “never say sorry” attitude of John Howard, then wraps it up with some exotic birds in tight underwear. You should vote for Tony Abbot if:

  • You know best, no matter what anyone else says.
  • You think that speedos should be part of the national dress.
  • You always vote Liberal, just because.
  • You believe that everyone else should hold your morals, no matter what.

Bob Brown

Bob Brown leads the Greens. This is a party which doesn’t field enough candidates to ever hold power. They are, however, the largest of the minor parties, and usually hold enough seats so that they can carry or block any contentious piece of proposed legislation. As such, while they have no power to introduce any of their own policies, the two major parties usually have to play nice by the Greens in order to get things done. Because they will never be the leading party, they can happily offer policies which are popular in theory, but would piss off a lot of people if they were ever made law. It’s probably not necessarily a bad thing if those people get pissed off, but it doesn’t make for a sustainable country. Vote for Bob Brown if:

  • You eventually decided to stop supporting the major parties directly.
  • You want your vote to count a little bit more than if you voted for the Sex Party.
  • You love all that hippy crap.
  • You love to feel good about yourself, but are afraid of any real change.

I hope that this helps you decide better how to waste cast your vote. All the candidates are pretty bad, so it’s pretty much like picking turds out of a barrel. No matter which one you ultimately pick you’re still holding a handful of crap, and that can’t be sanitary.

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Rewarding the useless for accidentally being less so.

by on Jul.14, 2010, under CABBAGE, CUNTS, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, FABULOUS PRIZES!, Fish are ANGRY at the world, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, FUCKING RIOTS?!, Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, SHUT UP, Spill, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE, TRUTH

We are living in a brave new world! Apparently the thing being called “The biggest environmental disaster of our century” (which personally I think of as both very optimistic, and a brilliant challenge) has been stopped, with BP capping the well! Let us all sing their praises and shower them with consumerism, to reward them for doing for taking several months to fix a problem that should never have happened in the first place! AREN’T THEY JUST THE BEST?

While we’re at it, we should meet our carbon reduction targets by letting everyone carry on business as usual, and only rewarding (by way of tax cuts) those businesses who actually try to do anything. THIS IS A PREFECT IDEA WHICH CANNOT HELP BUT SUCCEED. WHY WE’LL MAKE THOSE BUSINESSES SO KEEN FOR TAX CUTS THAT THEY’LL BE FIGHTING AMONGST THEMSELVES TO BE THE MOST “GREEN”! THIS PLAN IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FLAWLESS!

Apparently some people don’t understand when I’m being sarcastic, so this is especially for you, cosmicharade (and others).

I WAS BEING FUCKING SARCASTIC YOU USELESS, MOUTH BREATHING, HAM BEASTS! I DO THAT HERE. THAT’S PRETTY MUCH WHAT THIS SITE IS FOR. SORRY TO TEAR DOWN THE FOURTH FUCKING WALL HERE, BUT SERIOUSLY ARE YOU CUNTS THAT FUCKING STUPID?

So applauding BP is fucking retarded. They fucked up, failed to fix it for THREE FUCKING MONTHS, and now that the EVENTUALLY HAVE, they are some kind of fucking heroes? YOU BEST BE FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU CUNTS. IF SOMEONE SHOT YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH A CROSSBOW THEN DECIDED TO SPEND THREE MONTHS “EXPERIMENTING” ON DIFFERENT WAYS OF HOW TO GET THE ARROW OUT, WHEN THEY FINALLY DID YOU STILL WOULDN’T BE FUCKING THANKING THEM. YOU ARE FORGETTING THE PART WHERE THEY SHOT YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, AND COMPLETELY IGNORING THE THREE MONTHS OF DICKING THE FUCK AROUND. FOCUSING ON THE FACT THAT THEY EVENTUALLY FIXED IT DOES NOT NEGATE ALL THE FUCKING DAMAGE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED IF YOU THINK THAT IT DOES.

Rewarding people for doing what they’re meant to do is fine, IF THEY DO IT RIGHT, AND IN A TIMELY FUCKING MANNER. If the person shooting you with a crossbow did it accidentally, and immediately called an ambulance to have the arrow extracted properly, that might be forgivable. If they do it without laughing at the fact that you have a fucking arrow in your face, then you might even call their quick action commendable. If they insisted on doing it themselves, and fucking around with it in the process, THEN THEY SHOULDN’T BE REWARDED FOR FUCKING WELL EVENTUALLY GETTING IT RIGHT.

The same goes for the fucking business leaders who think that JUST BECAUSE there is a new prime minister, that you should be FUCKING REWARDED for doing the bare minimum, and left alone if you don’t fucking well do that. Here’s a carbon reduction policy for you:

Subsidise businesses in their attempts to use cleaner, renewable energy, and better, more efficient processes. Do this so that they aren’t put out of business trying to get up to spec. Pay for it by TAXING THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ANY BUSINESS WHO DOESN’T MAKE A CHANGE FOR THE FUCKING BETTER. Don’t give breaks to big polluters because they’re nice guys, TAX THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF THEM UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE MORE FUCKING EFFICIENT.

If a company really doesn’t care enough to change and contribute, THEN THEY’LL PROBABLY DIE IN A PIT OF UNPAID TAX. Of course, this will affect employment, but I’ve got that covered, too. HIRE MORE PEOPLE WORKING LESS HOURS, WHICH WILL BE SUSTAINABLE DUE TO THE SAVINGS MADE ON THE NEW FOUND EFFICIENT PROCESSES. YOU COUPLE PROBABLY AFFORD TO PAY EVERYONE MORE, TOO. IT’S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE. IT’S ECONOMICS. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ECONOMICS, AND I’VE ALREADY COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS. IF I CAN DO IT, SURELY SOMEONE WHO’S JOB IT IS COULD FUCKING DO IT, AND I’LL BET THEY WANT A FUCKING PAT ON THE HEAD FOR DOING IT TOO.

So, in conclusion: Rewarding people for eventually undoing their own stupidity? Fucking retarded. Rewarding people for changing for the better, while ignoring people who aren’t contributing? Fucking cunt move. Calling me an armchair politician because I haven’t fixed the entire fucking world already? Just fucking shoot yourself.

Fuck you, cunts.

Cabbage.

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Cutting through the Australian political parties

by on Jul.07, 2010, under Celebrity gossip, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, how are you today?, Illuminati, My skepticisim isn't the slightest bit dogmatic - how dare you, Skeptic logic is infallible, Spill, TRUTH

There is much talk in Australia about how we have a “two party” system. This doesn’t mean that there are only two parties, only that there are only two parties which actually have a chance to win. There are heaps of boutique, or specialist parties. Usually single issue, or single point-of-view parties which, if they ever got into power would invariably fuck everything up, and STILL wouldn’t get around to acting on any of their policies.

There are, in fact, about five major parties now. So with the likely upcoming election, how do we know who to trust with our votes? The simple answer is no-one, but sadly they never have a “total anarchy” option on the ballots. Today, I’ll give you a run down of the major parties, and why none of them can be trusted. Hopefully this will help you to figure out which one you least want to be in power, thus allowing you to figure out the correct order for you r preferences.

The Liberal Party

The Liberal Party is horribly named. They are easily one of the most conservative parties around, believing that the only liberties people should have is to be allowed to pick which horrible employment situation to sign their lives to. They are currently in opposition, after eleven years of iron-fisted justice. Their key policies seem to be:

  • You have no rights.
  • OK, you have one right. The right to have no other rights.
  • OK, that is more of a responsibility than a right.
  • Maybe responsibility is the wrong word. It still makes it sound like you have a choice.

The National Party

Again, this is a horribly named party. They seem to have the least spread out of any of the major parties. To my knowledge, they exist only in Adelaide these days, and that probably won’t last there long. They are the smaller part of a loose coalition with the Liberal party, which just goes to show how much of the nation they care about. They may have policies, but no-one is ever quite sure. Usually, I think their policy is just to oppose everything that Labor says.

The Labor Party

The Labor party, apart from being misspelled, is also misnamed. As a party who you would assume would approve of labour, they strongly opposed the introduction of legal slaves through the previous government’s “Work Choices” legislation. Once a party leaning to the political left, Labor abandoned this when they realised that being evil was more fun. In recent times, they have been playing a game of musical chairs for the leader’s position, which brings some credibility back as the only group to at least take the “Party” part seriously. They are keen gymnasts, with the ability to both back-flip constantly, and to bend over backwards in order to please investors. Their current policies include:

  • Reducing Australia’s carbon emissions by taxing emission producers.
  • Subsidising large emission producers so that the tax doesn’t affect their profit margins.
  • Tax mining companies to pay for the subsidies to large polluters.
  • Talk to mining companies about only taxing parts of their business which affect smaller companies, who aren’t consulted.
  • Filter the Internet to stop bad things from happening for everyone.
  • Speed up Internet speeds so that access speeds aren’t that much slower than they are now when the Internet filter is introduced.

Family First

The Family First party are against all types of family. The current theory holds that their name doesn’t mean that policies should help the family first, but that families should be against the wall. They are strongly opposed to talking about sex, thinking about sex, having sex (unless married), people getting married (gays only), and gays having families. They are largely a conservative Christian party, which is nice that they declare it, but does kind of defenestrate the idea of “separation between church and state”. They are still only a minor party, but they are outspoken, so I feel that it is fair to include them in this list. Their current policies seem to be:

  • Gays are bad
  • Sex before marriage is bad
  • Heathens are probably gay, so they’re bad.
  • Gays would have the same rights as regular people if they were in fact people, and not some demon spawn from hell.
  • Pornography is evil spawn of the devil and should be outlawed.

The Green Party

The first thing you need to know about the Green Party is that they are led by a man named Brown. This the the type of serious position they take to politics. As a running party, they have long been the punch line for many jokes along the lines of “Well who are you going to vote for? The Greens? Ha ha ha!”. They are outspoken about their policies, which seem to be “Oppose everything everyone does, because it’s not good enough”, and “Why can’t we all just get along, man?”. They are one of those parties what everyone says they would vote for if they thought they could ever win a seat, a common statement which has always struck me as being completely contrary to logic. The greens aren’t a particularly evil party, but everyone seems afraid to vote them in because no-one can be that good all the time. What if the time when they snap is the one time that they actually have the power to have a say? As the saying goes, “Better the darlings you love, than letting them into you r house for the night”.

I hope that this helps you to make up you r mind about which party least deserves you r vote. It doesn’t really matter though, because things like the coalition takes all the power out of you r hands anyway.

Happy voting!

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An illuminating rant

by on Jul.03, 2010, under CABBAGE, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, STOP IT, TRUTH

You know what I really hate?

I hate that I – you too I guess but I don’t care about that so much – am paying rates and taxes to allow a whole bunch of pollution to be created. That’s right, pollution.

What kind of pollution you ask? If you don’t ask that, you are a) stupid and b) going to be smacked in the back of the head any minute now with an oversized liverwurst. If you just turned around to see if it was true you are a) gullible and b) now going to be smacked in the FACE with an oversized liverwurst.

But I digress.

So I was driving down a highway at 4am and it was like daylight.  Not because it was daylight but because there’s a huge light every two metres. (It looks like two when you’re driving too much, so quit your pedantic whinging.)

I also went past a shopping centre, closed. Every light in the car park was on. It was like a big ugly box shaped concrete Christmas tree without any decorations.  Well ok, it wasn’t anything like a Christmas tree except it was big and ugly and lit up. But who is using it? No one.  So why should it be lit up? WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LIGHT POLLUTION FROM SOME STUPID CAR PARK FOR SECURITY PURPOSES! HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE HEARD OF SENSOR LIGHTS!

Then… then… then I passed a brand new train station. Not even opened yet. It and its carpark were also lit up. NO ONE EVEN KNOWS IT’S THERE! Oh, wait… they do now because you CAN’T MISS THE THING. They’ll be swarming like moths to graffiti it cause the challenge is even bigger when the lights are on ALL THE TIME lighting the place up like we’re in the middle of a SUPANOVA. Where else can your art be visible 24 hours a day? Genius.

So why we have to put up with the tendrils of light pollution reaching further and further into the wilderness while the CBD is surrounded by a dome of unearthly pink light that makes me want to vomit? (Well not literally vomit. Maybe just dry retch.)

Because of all you PATHETIC WUSSY LOSER CRY BABIES WHO ARE SCARED OF THE DARK! The dark is cool and it has been, up until fairly recently, a fact of life. Now it’s GONE, GONE FOREVER AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU SNIVELLING CHILDREN OF DOOM. GIVE ME MY DARK BACK!

I’m going to go live in a cave. A dark cave.

That is all.

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Stop thinking. It’ll only make things harder.

by on Jul.02, 2010, under CUNTS, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, HAHAHAHA YORE, HEY YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT, SHUT UP, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE, TRUTH

All of today’s problems can be simplified down to one root cause. You. In particular, your incessant insistence that you can actually make a difference. You will find that all the problems that concern you would simply go away, if you could simply SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

Have you ever had a dickhead mate who constantly whined about how bad their life was? Did you ever notice how all those problems never showed up in your life any more once you BEAT HIS FUCKING TEETH IN WITH A LEAD PIPE? This is what’s holding back governments and businesses from getting things done. Whiny little CUNTS LIKE YOU. They can’t even BREAK THE JAWS OF EVERY PERSON WHO DOESN’T SUPPORT THEM WITHOUT LITTLE FUCKING SHIT-SMEARED CUNT RAGS LIKE YOURSELF GETTING ALL UPPITY AND “OH THAT’S BRUTALISM!”

Well on behalf of anyone who’s either been voted or back-stabbed their way into power:

FUCK YOU.

YOU ARE WHY THERE’S OUTRAGE ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE, OR MINING TAXES, OR RADIATION LEVELS IN MILK. YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM. QUIT YOUR BITCHING, AND LET US DO OUR FUCKING JOBS. IF YOU HAD ANY SAY, YOU WOULD BE ONE OF US. AS YOU AREN’T ONE OF US, I THINK IT’S SAFE TO SAY THAT NO-ONE GIVES TWO FUCKS AND A FART IN HELL WHAT YOU FUCKING THINK, YOU SNIVELY LITTLE BALL OF PRIMORDIAL SLIME, PRETENDING AT PLAYING POLITICS.

JUST ONCE, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HOW YOU WOULD GO MAKING THE BIG FUCKING DECISIONS. OH WHAT A WORLD THAT WOULD BE. EVERYONE WOULD WOULD BE SO FUCKING HAPPY, WITH YOUR SHIT-SMEARED GRINS, AND YOUR CUNT-FACED OPINIONS. WELL TOO FUCKING BAD. YOU DON’T GET A FUCKING SAY, BECAUSE ALL YOU WOULD DO IS FUCK IT UP FOR US.

So now that we have that out of the way, let us discuss how our interests are your interests, not that we even need to justify this, but maybe it will help you to accept it AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE HOLE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS. We are the people who you VOTED for, or who OWN YOUR JOB, or that STABBED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WHO TRIED TO OPPOSE US. In short, IF YOU FUCK WITH US, YOU WON’T HAVE A LIFE LEFT TO LIVE. WE WILL STUFF YOUR HEAD THROUGH YOUR ANUS SIDEWAYS, COVER YOU IN SALT, AND THROW YOU INTO A FUCKING BLOOM OF OIL. ANY PARTS WHICH STILL SHOW SIGNS OF LIFE WILL BE FED TO EXPLODING FUCKING SHARKS. YOU WILL BE MAULED, DIGESTED, THEN BLOWN TO FUCKING PIECES. ALL WHILE YOUR FAMILY WATCH. IT WILL BE THE GREATEST NEW REALITY TV SHOW, AND YOU KNOW THAT THOSE USELESS CUNTS YOU LIVE WITH WILL JUST LAP IT UP.

YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT DOWN THE THROATS OF BABIES, YOU ARE SO STUPID. I WANT TO JUST HORK IT ALL UP, SPIT IT DOWN THEIR THROATS, AND CHOKE THEM TO DEATH SO THAT THEY’LL NEVER GROW UP TO BE MORE OF YOU.

So the next time you feel the need to moan or complain, just think about what you are really doing. You’re not making a difference, you’re just making the people who’s opinions DO count wish you were dead. The fact that you are still alive is nothing other than proof that they really do care.

They care that you are still able to vote them back in the same place next election.

They care that you can keep spending your money on the crap they’re selling.

They care that you can keep working long hours to make the crap that you have to save for weeks to afford to buy.

They care.

So shut the fuck up already.

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Finding the TRUTH they DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

by on Jul.01, 2010, under evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, horoscopes, Illuminati, TRUTH

They say truth is subjective. I say that the “truth” is punitive. The truth we are told, are force fed, are meant to believe, is designed only to keep us in the dark, and punish us for being us. Well I’m a man, and I say that I should probably have a say in the truth that I believe. Many people refer to me and my kind of enlightened men as “crackpots” or “wackos”. We, on the other hand, prefer to refer to those people as “sheeple” or “brainwashed masses”.

The reason why people question our sanity is because we aren’t all us. Simply put, sometimes the people who we try to expose pretend to be us and act like really crazy people to make it harder for us to be taken seriously by everyone else when we are telling everyone else about them. Many “conspiracy theories” that you see around are entirely fake deliberately to stop us from being heard. Fortunately there is an easy way to figure out which ones are real, and which ones are fake. There are 3 simple ways which can check to see if something it true, or is a fake.

1 – Is there any proof. This may seem a bit obvious, and every theory claims that there is unlimited proof to support it. What it comes down to is this. Have you seen any proof. If they talk of proof, but never produce any, then it’s probably a scam trying to make us sound crazy. This is what happens all the time when people talk about “Global capitalism”. If there’s no proof, then it’s probably a fake, made up by amateurs who are just starting out, trying to fool people into thinking that we’re all crazy.

2 – Quality of the proof. Here is one that seems obvious, but really isn’t. If the proof seems too good to be true, or too conclusive, then it is probably fake. Take a common theory like “global warming” (are we seeing a theme here?). The evidence produced by so-called “scientists” is so vastly accurate, so detailed, that it must obviously be fake. They try to confuse you by presenting so much evidence, of such high quality that you will never be tempted to read through it all. Well I did, and I came up with some pretty conclusive evidence that it is fake. Did you know that the “scientists” claim that they measured levels of “carbon” in “ice”? Well I may not have any fancy degrees, but I know that ice is made of water, and water has no carbon in it at all. This is just one of the many times that they try to overwhelm you with facts, but completely overlook the real science.

20 dollars of TERROR

20 dollars of TERROR

3 – Historical Evidence. This is an important one. When the shadowy government, illuminati, or mason organisations work, they work slowly. They try to get their plans done over hundreds of years, so that people don’t know what’s going on. Because of this, and their need for secrecy, they often slip coded or secret messages into every day things, so that people never notice. they slip these messages in to the world years before they are relevant, because they have already planned out how to do it. For example, the image to the right shows proof that someone had planned not only to build the world trade centre, but had already planned to destroy it to cause a war to distract us. This is proof of future planning, from even hundreds of years ago. Real plans have evidence from hundreds, or even thousands of years ago. Some people will try to tell you that it’s not real evidence, but it’s obscure because it had to be.

It’s a well known fact that the government try to control people’s minds to turn them against us, who are free from their falsified logic. We can see the world as it truly is, and that scares them. They are always trying to infiltrate us, to make their brainwashed followers think that it’s us, and not them, who are crazy. They try to convince you that foil enhances signals, rather than blocking them. Everything they do attempts to discredit us, to make us seem like we are wild extremists.

It won’t work, because we can see through their lies. If you can see through their lies too, you will see what we see, which is a web of lies. We know the TRUTH, and that it is far different from their fictitious truth, which you are meant to believe. Together, we can expose them for what, and who they really are, and together, we can bring mankind into a brave world where we are free to think about who’s opinions we can believe. Until that day, we will try to keep uncovering the truth for everyone.

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Combating spills

by on Jun.25, 2010, under evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, Heroes, Spill

The last couple of months have been rather intense, but now that the media storm has settled down, we can finally relax a little and truly analyse how effective the current methods of combating spills are. There are three main methods that are talked about. They are the cap, the junk-shot, and finally the top-fill. Now we can analyse each of these procedures individually, figure out which was the best option, and discuss where they went wrong.

The first method of combating the spill was the cap. This was considered to be a temporary measure by all, and there was a lot of argument about if it would do anything at all. It was considered to be a quick and easy measure which would be the easiest to implement while preventing any further damage to the environment. The problem was that while the cap may prevent further environmental damage, but wouldn’t address the root cause of the problem. Many people claimed that this was simply offsetting the problem, hoping that it would go away on it’s own, and doing the bare minimum to pay lip service to promises made. There was a great amount of opposition, both from the people who felt that the solution didn’t go far enough, and from people who claimed that there wasn’t any problem. Eventually it came to light that the cap and trade policy was instrumental in causing the spill in the first place.

The next method tried was the junk policy shot, where the government tried to force as many useless policies through as possible in order to keep everyone happy. This resulted in many policies which catered to select groups, but were largely unpopular with the general public. Policies like the Internet filter, mining tax, and the failed education revolution all served to further destabilise the area. While many commentators felt that this was a solid method of stemming the spill by maintaining popularity with the most vocal groups, it was the overall lack of strength an ability in all of these policies; indeed the very thing which made them junk; which caused further stability issues, and actually worsened the effects of the spill.

The last tactic tried was the top-position fill. This works by injecting more politicians into the top positions, in order to prevent further spills. This is currently under trial, and it may be weeks, or even months before we see if this strategy helps. The top-fill is a strategy that has been employed several times by the opposition, which has suffered from numerous spills over the last couple of years. In the opposition, the negative affects of applying this strategy hastily, and without planning are self evident, as each new top has been progressively weaker, and more erratic. Hopefully the current government has learned the lessons from mistakes made during their own top-fill experiments through the Beazley – Crean – Latham – Beazley years.

Labor had a marginally successful attempt at this strategy when they switched to using Queensland Rudd, which was considered to be a stronger, more flexible material. Sadly, it was likely this flexibility, coupled with Rudd’s occasionally harsh nature, which caused a further spill. Labour is gambling on the new Gillard method, in the hope that the foreign import will have the strength to hold everything together.

Everyone is watching with bated breath, wondering if this latest effort will provide stability, and reverse some of the damage caused by the cap and the junk-shot. Only time, and media commentators, will tell. In the mean time, we all hope that a potential party will come up with another catchy slogan for the impending election. Something like “Two thousand an Ben“.

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Public transport: My life, my love, my legacy.

by on Jun.23, 2010, under CABBAGE, CUNTS, evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE EVERYONE, STOP IT, STOP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE, VIN FUCKING DIESEL

Every now and then, I have to rely on public transport. It’s not really a choice, so much as a situation which is forced upon me. When I was younger, I grew up in a town where there was no public transport outside of three taxis, and a school bus. Being that I lived within walking distance to the school for many years, I never really had to use these options. As I aged, I eventually was forced by social pressures to change from my close school to one which was in the next town. Eventually, I was one of those lucky kids who got to ride the bus.

Moving to the city afforded me even more bus rides, as well as this great system of trains. Oh what a joyous day it was to be able to travel in air-conditioned comfort and style to hopefully where I intended to go if I managed to read the timetable correctly, and if it wasn’t too far out of date. After six and a half years here, though, I’m a little less enamored of public transport; jaded even.

There are a few things in particular that bother me about both buses and trains. There’s the smell, the other people (or “patrons”), and the unerring feeling that, no matter how carefully you checked, you just sat in a wet spot. None of these things piss me off quite as much, though, as the fares.

If I want to catch a train to work (a massive journey of one station), it costs me over two dollars. Why? I can’t fathom. Apparently travelling one station causes a massive amount of extra load on the system. Never mind that a trip from my old house to work (approximately fifteen stations) cost me… still over two dollars, but well under three. Apparently I must live on the border of the GIANT FUCKING INSURMOUNTABLE HILL, which incurs a fucking convenience fee equivalent to travelling eleven fucking stations. It’s not even paper tickets running on zones anymore. It’s fucking “go cards” which are meant to intelligently bill you for how far you travel in the Brisbane fucking public transport network. On top of that THEY KEEP UPPING THE FUCKING PRICES. Now that people aren’t DIRECTLY PAYING ANY CASH for heir tickets, they can’t keep good track of HOW MUCH A SINGLE TRIP COSTS, only OH FUCK I’VE GOT NO MORE MONEY ON MY CARD FOR WHORES.

THIS UTTER BULLSHIT TICKETING SYSTEM SHOULD BE COSTING ME LESS, NOT MORE TO TRAVEL ONE FUCKING STATION, YOU UPPITY FUCKING CUNTS. I WON’T EVEN MENTION THE FUCKING TEN DOLLAR BUY-IN JUST TO BE ALLOWED TO USE YOUR FUCKING CUNTED SYSTEM (WAIT YES I WILL, IT’S FUCKED), OR THE FACT THAT EVERY TIME ONE OF YOUR FUCKING MACHINES ISN’T WORKING PROPERLY, I GET FINED AN EXTRA FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS. THAT’S EVEN LEAVING OUT THE PART WHERE THE RECHARGE STATIONS SEEM TO DECIDE ON A FUCKING WHIM WHAT METHODS OF PAYMENT WILL MAGICALLY FUCKING WORK THIS WEEK.

I HAVE TO CARRY CASH IN THE FORM OF NOTES AND COINS, PLUS A FUCKING CREDIT CARD WITH ME JUST IN CASE YOUR STUPID FUCKING TEMPREMENTAL CUNT OF A MACHINE DECIDES THAT IT’S “NOT DOING EFTPOS TODAY” OR THAT CASH IS FINE FOR $10, BUT $20? HOLY FUCK GET THE SHIT OUT OF HERE. WHY NOT JUST INSIST THAT YOU GIVE YOU DIRECT FUCKING ACCESS TO OUR BANK ACOCUNTS, AND YOU CAN EXTRACT WHATEVER THE FUCK MONEY YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT, YOU DOMESTICATED FUCKING CUNT-RAT OF A COMPANY.

That is NOT how you run a fucking company, but I guess you don’t fucking care because the plebeian cunts who use you have NO OTHER FUCKING OPTION. I AM GOING TO GET MY FUCKING TWO DOLLARS WORTH OF TRAIN RIDES BY CONSTANTLY RIDING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO STATIONS WITHOUT PAYING ANOTHER FUCKING CENT. SURE IT MAY TAKE ME FOUR HOURS TO GET TO WORK, BUT IT WILL BE FUCKING WORTH IT.

You cunts can stop treating us like your own personal fucking piggy banks now.

FUCK YOU, public transport.

FUCK YOU.

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BP – INTERNATIONAL HEROES

by on Jun.09, 2010, under evil-nazi-eco-libro-fascists, Fish are ANGRY at the world, Heroes

Don’t believe the lies. BP are international heroes, and this is why. They have given the world hundreds of tonnes of free oil that otherwise would be stuck inside the ocean floor, thus rendering it useless to everyone. The fascists in the white house try to confuse people by referring to the oil as crude. They call it an “environmental disaster”. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The “Government” is angry at BP because the leak is giving the world, for free, things which they can’t tax. It all has to do with taxation. This is the same reason why a plant developed through science to have all these helpful things (such as tar, stimulants, and several types of pesticides) is not only legal, but encouraged, and taxed like hell, while a naturally growing plant like marijuana is simply illegal. The libro-fascists want their dirty hands on you r hard earned money. You know that it’s good for you when the government are trying to tax it out of you. It shows you that they know what you need, and don’t want you to have it. They’re attempting to spin this giant gesture of good will from BP into some catastrophic disaster because it lets the people have what we need, without giving them a single red cent.

They tell you that it is harming animals. I say that it’s making animals better. Pre-oil? Seagulls were bright white, and easily visible in the dead of night, when they traditionally hunt. Now they are jet black, and lubricated to boot. They have become the crows of the sea. Intelligent, sleek, silent, and invisible against the murky darkness of oil. Did you know that you r body produces oil? It stops you r skin form going all wrinkly and gross when it’s soaking in water. What about the animals that live in water? When do those poor creatures get a break? They have to run their oil-factories 24/7 just to break even. Now, thanks to BP, they are literally swimming in oil, all of a stronger, better quality than the measly supplies they could produce themselves.

This behavior of complaining is typical of those eco-libero-fascists in the white house, though. They try to tell you everything is about to destroy the earth, just so they can sell you something which is half the speed, a quarter of the size, looks like junk, and costs less. Let me tell you something about things that cost less. They add up. I could buy one Hummer for $50,000 or I could buy two Prius’ for $80,000, and they would use about the same amount of petrol. I don’t know where you hokey people learned you r maths, but in my books, $80,000 is more than $50,000 and the petrol costs stay the same! Why would I need two Prius’ but only one Hummer? Because when you buy a Hummer, that’s the only vehicle you’ll ever need. Ever.

They keep arguing that even if we don’t believe “climate change” is happening, we should be working for a “better tomorrow”. Well I’ll tell you now, the only way tomorrow will be better for me is if I get a Hummer today. Then my tomorrow will not only be better, but will be awesome!

There is constant talk about “for our children”, and some people go so far as to say “for our childrens’ children”. I’ll give you a bit of wisdom that was handed down to me. We live our lives the way we do because of science. We get science from scientists. Scientists are smarter than normal people, and therefore, if they gave us this way of life, it must be right. When I have kids, they are going to be given a choice. Either they let the scientists do their job, and give us Hummers, neon lights, beer fridges, and the ability to double-dry our clothes, or they renounce everything that science has given us, and go it alone. I have a back lot especially designed to emulate (it’s a word from science) our world if science had never existed. It’s one hectare of unmanaged bush land crawling with snakes, spiders, wild boars, antelope, and tigers, surrounded by a three meter high electrified fence to remind them that they rejected science for a reason. They will have to learn how to speak, build a wheel, use it to harness electricity, and build a computer with wireless access all by themselves. If my children want to live in a different world without oil dependencies, or so called “pollution”, then they will have to build it themselves, from scratch.

Of course the nazi-eco-libro-fascists in the government don’t really want this to happen. They will cry “reckless child endangerment”, or “unfit parenting”, or “illegal possession of exotic animals”, but I can read through their lies. What they’re really saying is that if my child proves to be able to build a so-called “sustainable” world, they won’t be able to tax it. This is how it works, the world over. Someone offers something for free, and the government decries it as evil, or a waste, or a lie, just so they can control and tax it later. BP are trend setters and international heroes for letting us, Joe and Jane Average, have free, unlimited access to pure oil.

If you love you r country, you r planet, and free things, thank BP by buying exclusively at their service stations from now on. After all, they’re the only ones who offer BP Ultimate, and anything less will destroy you r Hummer’s engine.

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